The Official Fake Blog of the Indian Premier League

Looking back at this year and looking forward to the next.

Guess what I am thinking of?

Picture Courtesy Ankit

Dravid - OUT, Sachin - OUT, Ganguly - OUT, Laxman - OUT. The grand old men of Indian Cricket will not play any more part in this years IPL. A combined take home salary of 12+ crores and nothing to show for it…. thank God it wasn’t our money

Whether they will return is anyones guess. Expect some major changes in the off-season.

So its Delhi vs Rajasthan and Chennai vs Punjab. We shall see. I am keeping my fingers crossed for the Rajasthan team since I own part of the team.

So we are close to the semi-finals. Lots of emotional stuff happening. SRK getting all teary eyed when asked not to go to the dug out and then sending a 10 page SMS boo hooing about it.

Preity I hear is now praying for her team’s success. I heard that it was at her command that “Mentakumaran” Sreesanth actually got a haircut.

I love the Bollywood types. So dramatic.

Vijay Mallya’s team have actually won a couple of matches. So dont hear much grumblings there.

Darren Berry says that they are extremely uncomfortable returning to Jaipur and playing there. Ungrateful buggers were siting in Goa when it happened. Now they are considering quitting. I will be extremely surprised if Shane Warne follows him but you never know.

We’ll miss the Aussies but the show will go on. Theres enough players in the sub-continent who will make the IPL successful.

Hey Berry F**k Off. IPL still rocks and Money Talks.

First he fires his CEO. Now hes shooting his mouth off in public about how he left the team selction to Dravid and the CEO …blah blah blah blah etc etc.. I wish he would keep quiet… ONLY BCCI IS ALLOWED TO DO THAT !!!! (shoot our mouths of that is)

I mean the Deccan (Dis)Chargers are screwed up as well.. you dont see their owners complaining in public.

I just hope Vijay Mallya doesn’t ask for his money back. Anyway there was a “No Refund” clause in the franchisee agreement. Whew !!

Ok.. Bangalore fired Charu Sharma yesterday. Its probably the first of many…

Unfortunately hiring him in the first place was a mistake… I mean just because he anchored the program on Set Max… does it make him the Cricket Officianado?  Anyway its unfortunate.. we created jobs but the guys can’t keep them.

Wonder who the next target is….

I am glad that we at the BCCI are not accountable like this. Else a lot of us would have been out on our sorry asses a long time ago.

Even without the ban, the general feeling was that $850K was wasted on Bhajji. Over 14 Games it meant a nice $60k plus per game. Dont know why the idiot cant quit while hes ahead.

Of course we have fine print in the contract which means that Bhajji wont get even a “tooti koudi”. I hope he knows that. The only company that will now sponsor him is tha maker of Valium.

We tried to get Priety Zinta to withdraw the complaint but shes one fiesty lady and refused. I mean this lady refused to withdraw her statement against the Mafia.. whats BCCI for her?

Sreesanth I heard is getting offers from Hindi Soaps. They need guys who can cry.

I tell you.. theres something awfully wrong with this Bhajji guy… The guy slapped Sreesanth who promptly burst into tears… kya baaath hai…

Sreesanth is no better… the guy keeps mouthing off like a bully.. and like all bullies do, starts crying when confronted.

Grow up guys..temper temper… play cricket… If you can’t go home…

P.S: The TV guys have enough fodder for the weekend.

Again and again peepal have started asking me… “Commisioner saab.. how will the IPL benefit peepal?”

I say it is also creating jobs for people who would otherwise be unemployed or underemployed. Take Charu Sharma… I mean the only job he had was conducting that horrible show on Doordarshan. Look at him now… working with Mallya, selecting teams, playing selector, free tickets and all… would all this have happened if it were not for the IPL? Tell me !! Have you seen the new video of the Royal C’s where Charu Sharma is exhorting his troops?

Kris Srikkant is brand ambassador for the Chennai Sooper Kings…Seenu is paying him quite well. Only thing is that uniform looks like a Pyjama on Cheeka…

So before you point fingers and talk all rubbish, please think of these fellows… the trainers, coaches, managers etc etc

P.S: As I am writing this post, there is some disturbing news that some of the Punjab Kings players have been asked to leave the hotel so that Preity Zinta’s friends can stay there….

I just wish Javed Miandad would disappear. The guy keeps cribbing about everything. Now hes saying that IPL sucks etc etc.. Hey guru we dont need to be told that…

Anyway what are you cribbing about? No one offered you a job? My guess is that they are afraid of your “relation” by marriage to a certain underworld don. Maybe he could have bought a team for you.

Anyway dont thing we can use you here. Why dont you see if you can start a league in Dubai? Maybe a tennis ball game? They do have cricket teams there… you and 5 other people can watch.

Just go away.

And Wasim Akram has echoed his sentiments as well. This boy I tell you… we looked after him so well.. now he comes back and bites us.. who do you think got him that commentary deal? Shaz and Vaz etc…Well time to pull the plug I think.